If you’ve never seen this video on The Onion, have a look. It’s a great skewering of Apple products.
But the best part of this video, is something that streams by for all of two seconds or so. During the product demo, the faux-Apple employee shows a feature that can predict what you may be trying to type. The alphabetical list (which someone at The Onion spent some time on), is completely hilarious. Here are some screen grabs.
The topic of old-school sports video games has come up a lot lately, and I thought it would be fun to put together a list of my favorite classic sports video games. Now bear in mind that these are not THE BEST sports video games of all time, but rather the ones that I have a particular personal fondness for. However, if you have some suggestions, or thoughts on games I may have overlooked, drop me a line and let me know. If I get some good additions to the list, I will post an update and include some more games.
Classic Basketball Video Games
Double Dribble for Nintendo (1987)
Double Dribble was the one of the best early sports games I remember. The dunking animations were completely awesome, and the game play was “realistic” for the time. There were no team names, just logos. I recall being able to go to the top corner, right by the baseline, and just drill threes one after another. I think this was some sort of random hot-spot for three-point shooting in this game. (more about this game on Wikipedia)
Jordan vs Bird (One on One) for Nintendo (1988)
I still actually have a working copy of this game for my original Nintendo. This game has NOT held up over the years, and is a complete bore to play now. There wasn’t a lot to this game, except a three-point contest and dunk contest (predictably featuring Bird and Jordan respectively) and then a terrible one-on-one mode. The one-on-one consisted of either Jordan driving by Bird and dunking, or Bird shooting a jump-shot over Jordan.(more about this game on Wikipedia)
Lakers vs Celtics and the NBA Playoffsfor PC (1989)
This game came at a time when PC games had far more advanced things going on than the Nintendo did. What you gave up in “controllability” of game play, you gained in detail of atmosphere. This game had only the playoff teams, but they were REAL teams with the real players (Tom Chambers dunks anyone?). The detail was super cool, and I remember being blown-away by the fact that this game showed fans walking up and down the aisles in the stands. (more about this game on Wikipedia)
NBA JAM! for Sega Genesis (early 90′s)
I’ve always been more into realism than arcade style play in sports games, but NBA JAM is the exception. I suppose if you are going to eschew realism, you may as well go full-tilt, and that’s what NBA JAM did. This game is still a ton of fun to play now. (more about this game on Wikipedia)
Classic Baseball Video Games
Micro League Baseball for Apple IIe (1984)
This may be the first real sports video game I ever played. My friend Aaron and I had a league going on his Apple IIe computer. And we didn’t so much as play actively, but rather set our rosters and then went outside to ride our bikes while the game played itself. We’d then come back in and see who won. He was the 1927 Yankees and I was the 1978 Red Sox, and it was awesome. (more about this game on Wikipedia)
RBI Baseball for Nintendo (1988)
This game was actually licensed by the MLB and thus had “real” players. I didn’t actually play this a ton growing up, but it’s hard to leave it off this list. RBI baseball has recently become most famous for the awesome Game 6 recreation done, with to-the-pitch accuracy. (more about this game on Wikipedia)
Baseball Stars for Nintendo (1989)
This is the first game I can recall that included pay and salaries, and much more realistic fielding controls than other games. You could dive, jump, climb the wall, etc. There was also real stats and season capabilities, but no real teams or players. There were teams like the American Dreams and the Lovely Ladies. (more about this game on Wikipedia)
Baseball Simulator 1.000 for Nintendo (1989)
This was another weird game that threw out realism for some bizarre effects. I don’t remember a ton about it, other than if you threw the “fireball” and hit a batter, I believe the batter would explode. So it had that. (more about this game on Wikipedia)
Little League Baseball Championship Series for Nintendo (1990)
Little League Baseball Championship Series was basically Baseball Stars (from the same company) but with little league baseball players and features. I always used New York and their heavy hitting lineup anchored by “Ward” and “Saul”. I think we still have this game around the apartment somewhere.
Bases Loaded for Nintendo (1990)
This was a favorite in our house for a while. My brother and friends and I played a ton. I was Hawaii (featuring the big bat of Debro) and my brother was usually Jersey (with Paste, who was the game’s best hitter). Memorable things about this game were the bullpen cart, the umpires named Yuk, Dum, Boo, and Bum, and the metallic “ping” sound that the bat hitting the ball made. Also, if you hit the opposing team’s best player (statistically), he would charge the mound and there would be a fight. Which was totally awesome. (more about this game on Wikipedia)
Hardball III for Sega Genesis (1992)
For its time, Harball III was pretty advanced. No real players or teams (just cities), but pretty intense seasoning capabilities and stats keeping. But I remember the announcing most. “I’M AL MICHAELS, and welcome to Hardball III”. I also remember that he’d say “FLINED” a lot, as in somewhere between “flied” and “lined”. Fifteen years later, my brother and I still say “flined”. (more about this game on Wikipedia)
This also came out in 1988, but was VASTLY superior to the Ice Hockey game. For one, there was fighting, which was done by furiously slamming on the buttons until your opponent went down. If you won the fight, the other guy would go to the penalty box and you’d skate free. The phrase “Hit the Puck” was also said in a computerized voice about 600 times per game too. Don’t bother playing this game now though. While it was “advanced” at the time, it is absolutely unplayably terrible now. (more about this game on Wikipedia)
NHL ’95 for Sega Genesis
I know there is a lot of debate over which mid-nineties EA NHL game was the best, but I have always been an NHL ’95 guy. Even though the blood and fighting were long gone, my brother and friends and I had some epic seasons (we even had a mini plastic Stanley Cup that changed hands each season) in this game. I was partial to the Canucks, with the super fast Pavel Bure. And for the record, the NHL game that they were playing in Swingers, is NHLPA Hockey ’93. Either way, the early NHL games from EA are iconic now. (more about this game on Wikipedia)
Classic Football Video Games
John Madden Football for Apple IIe
Along with Micro League Baseball, another Apple IIe game that my friend Aaron and I played, was the original John Madden Football. I don’t even remember the actual game play action (there may not have even been actual game play), as I think this was more a strategy and tactics version. There were also no licenses on this game, and it used old school nicknamed players like “Sweetness” and “The Juice”. (more about this game on Wikipedia)
John Elway’s Quarterback for Nintendo
This game was terrible. I definitely remember the cheat code though that allowed you to outrun all of the other players and basically burn out the clock. Old sports games sometimes were more about cheats than anything, and this awful game was a good example. A totally goofy box cover as well. (more about this game on Wikipedia)
Tecmo Super Bowl for Nintendo
This was my favorite old-school football video game by far. I still have a working copy for my NES, and it is still a blast to play. I know Bo Jackson and the Raiders were THE team, but I will take the 49′ers up against them any day. I love the crappy play calling, and the way that it blitzed if you guessed the play that the offense was calling. Also, whenever there would be a passing touchdown, some of the players appeared to celebrate by fellating one another. (more about this game on Wikipedia)
Joe Montana Sports Talk Football for Sega Genesis (1992)
The game play for Joe Montana Sports Talk Football was horrendous. The only promise of this game was in the announcing (one of the first games with real announcing?), and that was terrible too. It was fun though to punt on first down just to hear the fake announcer chide you by saying “What a mistake!” or “I can’t believe it!”. Another favorite was the use of “Mayday!” whenever you broke into open field. (more about this game on Wikipedia)
John Madden Football ’92 for Sega Genesis (1992)
This game gets special mention simply for the ambulance that came out and ran over the other players every time someone got injured. Ask anyone about Madden ’92, and they will almost always reference the ambulance. (more about this game on Wikipedia)
Classic Misc Video Games
Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out!! for Nintendo (1987)
I was never a huge Mike Tyson’s Punch Out fan, but this is one of the quintessential sports video games ever, so had to be included. (more about this game on Wikipedia)
GOAL! for Nintendo (1988)
GOAL! was the first soccer game I ever really played. My brother and I were big soccer players our whole lives, so this game was an absolute must-have for us. Looking back, the game play was pretty terrible. I do remember learning how to do some advanced bends on the ball though, and that opened up some big things. Winning my first GOAL! World Cup was a big moment for me. (more about this game on Wikipedia)