I decided to use this afternoon, a bleak Monday holiday, to catch up on some calls and tasks that I hadn’t had a chance to get to for the past week or two. Seems as though there was a common theme.

• I called J. Crew, to see if they could exchange a shirt for me. I had inadvertently grabbed one shirt in the wrong size along with three in the correct size, during a trip to the outlet last month. Trying to avoid an 80 mile round trip to Wrentham to swap one $29 shirt, I called customer service at J. Crew. to see if they could exchange the item via mail, or even give me some sort of pass to exchange for equal sale value at a regular store. The answer: “There’s nothing we can do…”
• I called Comcast to see why my bill showed a short pay of $20. Had they simply ignored the $20 promo coupon I had sent along with my payment last month? Their answer: “Wait up to 3 months and call back if it still isn’t processed. Right now, there is nothing we can do…”
• I called Blue Cross to explain that I had a doctors appointment at 8am tomorrow, and apparently my PCP was never updated with them as it was supposed to have been, presenting a problem for the morning doctor’s visit. Their answer: “The people that handle those changes are out for Columbus day. There’s nothing we can do…”
• So I called the doctor to see if this situation would force me to cancel my appointment. Their response: “Probably, but the girl that would know for sure is out today. There’s nothing I can do…”

Now granted, you can certainly argue that some of these little messes were my fault to start with, but still, why is the most common response to nearly every customer service inquiry met with some form of that phrase?