Single Life In The City is dead on regarding charity walks.

Boston held another “walk for charity” in which thousands of pedestrians clog our already crowded busy roadways (i.e. Beacon Street and Kenmore Square to name but a few). Really? cuz, it’s not like it’s hard to get around this god forsaken city as it is already without all the walkers and closing streets to traffic. (more…)

‘Tis the season for slow moving armies of same-shirt-wearing-do-gooders to invade the banks of the Charles and f-up my ability to move around the city on the weekends. I fight traffic in this place all week long, why not show me some charity and not clog up the streets on the two days when I can actually make that 2 or 3 mile drive from A to B in under 40 minutes?

This is part of, but not all of the reason I don’t donate to charity walkers. My cash is helping someone yes, but it is hurting me. So here is the solution.

I will donate to you, and in exchange, you DON’T walk. It’s the same end effect for the charity (they raise money), but it is more like extortion. Extortion I can live with..

The next charity that comes to my door and says:

“Mr Teman, we are planning on closing down the Fenway on Saturday for a charity walk. I know this will cause you much pain and suffering, but there is a way you can prevent this though. See, if we can raise $5,000 for homichlophobia by Friday, we won’t walk. If you donate, the streets will be clear on Saturday.”

I will donate to.