The intersection of the biggest online advertising trade show in the world (from which I just returned), and the beginning of a newly formed company that I am part of, has really reminded me just how important real relationships are. With so many people, and so many companies clamoring for the same traffic and the same dollar, not only is it increasingly important to set yourself apart from a product standpoint, but it is more important than ever to cultivate meaningful and real personal business relationships (an oxymoron of sorts, I know).

Sure, I spent a lot of time at ADTech this past week looking for new media sources, vendors, ideas, and products for Pangea, but looking back, so much of my time was also spent building new relationships, and strengthening existing ones. And doing so wasn’t only and always about business. Maybe just a semi-drunken conversation at one of the many post-show parties, a casual lunch with a potential client, some ball busting in the hotel lobby, or some industry gossip over a beer between sessions. When I take stock of what I accomplished this past week, it isn’t all about business cards or leads, it’s about connections and relationships. It’s about making a positive mark with people, so that when you end up competing for their business six months down the line, you have the edge…or when you need a good referral, you know you can call on them.

Now don’t get me wrong, these aren’t people who I am using or faking out, these are people I genuinely like, and who (at least I hope) genuinely like me. They are people I consider friends, as well as clients or potential clients…sometimes they are people I consider friends MORE than I consider them clients or potential clients, and the fact that they are in the same industry as me, and may serve to help me professionally, is just a bonus.

For what it is worth, here are some things that I try and do routinely to grow my personal business network, and to strengthen my existing personal business relationships:

Use LinkedIn, but don’t use it like you would MySpace and simply try to amass 10,000 connections. This is business networking, not social networking, so choose your connections carefully, and limit them to those who you would personally vouch for. Look for quality over quantity.

Write testimonials for clients, vendors, and other business contacts who have done good work for you. Don’t bullshit and make them up, but if Ted over at ClickLeadNetAdWorks did a great job filling your latest campaign, offer to give him a quote for their website, or write him a recommendation on LinkedIn.

When you can’t fill something, or satisfy a need, refer your potential client to a trusted source that can. People and companies get all bent out of shape and are afraid to say no to business, and REALLY afraid to refer it someplace else when the request reaches beyond their capabilities. You don’t always need to (personally I think you should never even TRY to) break your neck and change your business on the fly to suit the needs of a client, unless it makes long term business sense beyond the one opportunity. You are far better off saying “Ya know, that isn’t something we would really be able to do well for you, but let me introduce you to Jim Smith at ACME Corp. I know they can do this, and they will take great care of you“. This kind of referral ends up paying great dividends, as you client is grateful for the gesture and honesty, and your friend loves the referral. More than likely, both parties will remember this, and call on you again when they need something that you can do for them. Many times, they will even pay the favor back by sending some referral business your way, the first chance that they get.

Be a business matchmaker. If you think two people or companies may fit well together, introduce them casually at a trade show, or even via email. Don’t be pushy about it, but a simple intro, followed by a one or two sentence description of what each person does, and why you think they might be a good fit, can often spark a good business conversation, and perhaps even some business dealings if it is in fact a good match.

Don’t reserve client contact to only when you need something. Take note of birthdays and send well wishes, or send congratulatory emails on acquisitions, funding, and product launches.

If you see that something is broken, or malfunctioning, even if it is happening to a competitor, don’t be afraid to let them know in a constructive and helpful way. Sounds counterintuitive, but it’s good business karma.

Ask others to make connections for you. At the core, people enjoy helping others. If you need a contact at a certain company, and you know a client of yours has one, ask him or her to introduce you. Most often, they will be happy you asked, and happy to intro you, knowing that they will get that referral good will!

Lastly, and maybe most importantly, ALWAYS try to make it right if something goes wrong. Inevitably, you will at some point end up in a disagreement with a client or vendor, it happens to everyone. Do whatever you can, to solve the situation so that it makes business sense, but also so that the relationship is preserved as well as possible. One cancerous relationship can destroy one hundred good networking relationships overnight…so always try and be the bigger person, and solve problems in a positive way.

Now I don’t claim to be an expert on networking, but these are just things that have worked well for me personally, and that I think are general enough that they would work well for most others when done consistently. I guess the bottom line is this:

Forget about this social networking craze, and this online friends arms race, and work on creating an off line network of real value both personally and professionally, and you will be more successful for it…I guarantee.