Seeing as I only get basic cable in my bedroom, my viewing choices are limited to Spanish channels, home shopping networks, local access, and of course the religious networks. I usually spend my time watching clips of Mayor Menino speaking at local youth centers on the Boston local access channels, but the other day, I stumbled across Bibleman, which on the Bill Simmons unintentional comedy scale, is a 10,000 out of 10.

There is one clip in particular that I NEED to find and post here, so that everyone can really get a sense of how awesome this show is. See, every time Bibleman needs to spring into action, he (like all good superheroes) changes from mild mannered Josh Carpenter, into Bibleman using a dramatic sequence in which each body part becomes individually covered with righteous items, such as the “breastplate of truth” (I am not kidding). I can’t even do this justice with an explanation, so please, if anyone has this clip, send it to me immediately.

The only Bibleman clip that I could find on Youtube had the following intro:

Possibly the worst dialogue exchange in the history of TV, from one of the stupidest shows on Earth, Bible Man. What’s sad is that this show is for real; it’s not a joke.

I’m telling you…this show is off the charts.