As of this June 30th, I need to relocate, once again, to a new apartment somewhere within the greater Boston area. With relocation to a new rental unit within any of the country’s larger metropolitan areas, comes the great pleasure that is dealing with the apartment brokers that control most of the rental marketplace. And though I hate to make sweeping generalizations about any particular group of people, I am going to go out on a limb here and say that roughly 85% of the apartment brokers working in and around the city of Boston, are scumbags.

Now this 85% figure is an estimate based on my past go ’rounds with apartment hunting in Boston, and the beginnings of my go ’round now, where somewhere between 8 and 9 out of 10 brokers that I would contact (or would contact me), would do one or more of the following:

• Purposely mis-list certain types of units in the housing section of Craigslist. Such as listing a particularly generic looking and sounding unit at an attractive price, only to try and bait and switch you when you inquired about the unit. For instance, I would log on to Craigslist on a Wednesday morning at about 8:30am, and see a listing that was supposedly posted that very morning. When I would inquire about it a mere 5 minutes later, I was told that it was already rented, but they did “have some other great units” that just HAPPENED to be slightly more expensive. Apparently brokers in Boston must be renting every unit in the city between 8:30am and 8:34am.
• List studios in the one bedroom section, my personal favorite. Or even better, list studios in the one bedroom section where the headline would read “ROOMY ONE BEDROOM” and the body of the ad, once you clicked inside would read “cozy studio, just like a one bedroom”.
• The ol’ accidentally list a full-fee apartment in the no-fee section. Whoops!
• Constantly try and steer me to other things that I didn’t want. Again, I’ve got a very specific list of needs, all reasonable. At the top of that list are the locations that I am interested in (Newton, Brookline, Cambridge, Allston/Brighton), yet I would constantly hear things like “we have a great unit in Revere, you will LOVE it”. No, I won’t love it, because I’ll never see it. It isn’t even near where I’m looking.
• Put a photo of something like an American flag, or an animated gif of a house, or just turn some arbitrary text into an image, so that the listing will show “(pics)” next to it and increase clicks. This to me, while a cleverly rudimentary way to get people to click the listing, is a double offense. First, it pisses me off for what it is, and second…I am wary in this day and age of a digital camera in every hand, when a listing has no photos. You are supposedly a “high powered” apartment broker with a fancy car and a sharp suit, and you don’t have a digital camera to snap a photo of the “KILLER ONE BED” that you are trying to rent to me for $1,900? I guess no photos makes it easier to bait and switch me should I come down to the office not knowing what I am getting into.

As obnoxious as the above items are, what REALLY gets me, is the way that I’ve been treated by most brokers. They’re in the business of selling rentals, and I am a motivated renter looking to rent one of their available units. Furthermore, I’m a great tenant with perfect references, strong credit, and decent spending power. In each of my inquiries either via email or over the telephone, I am polite, thorough, and direct. I know what I want, and when someone can help me find it, I will take it. However, most brokers thus far have treated me as if they couldn’t care less if they get my business or not. Phone calls and emails go unanswered, advertised units are magically rented within minutes of being posted, and many of them are flat out rude. One, when I inquired about a listing in Brookline that said “Available 7/1, $1200″, told me…

“We never have one bed’s for $1200. Try a different city.”

Now mind you, this is in response to an inquiry about a specific posting that the agency had, listing a specific one bed unit, for $1200. Not only was he a complete dick in his response (and basically a liar either in the post or the response), but he made no effort to even TRY and help me find something else. This agency’s site lists some 50 rentals available (most presumably fake I guess), and he couldn’t even be bothered to try and show me some alternatives.

I guess these things are just par for the course, and this is just a bit of whining on my part about a process that I really can’t change. I suppose that this is what happens when the demand grossly outweighs the supply, and when there are unmotivated (because they don’t need to be) and arrogant middle men and women running the show. If you are a renter in Boston, beyond boxing up your stuff and paying 3 months rent for the privilege of signing a lease, bear in mind that this is part of the process that one must endure in order to put a roof over your head.