andrewteman.org

Or, how I spent my weekend - a photo retrospective by Andrew Teman.

Saturday - Took the kids to the New England Aquarium and saw sharks, jellyfish, penguins, and all kinds of aquatic crap. We rushed a bit, since Olivia thought all of the fish were the same and that we were just going in circles. As soon as we would get to an exhibit, she would glance at the tank and then explain that she “had already seen this one” before pulling me toward the next area, only to repeat the exact same scene and phrase as soon as we got there. We did this roughly 738 times in the span of 90 minutes.

After returning from the aquarium, we dined on some kid friendly fare (hot dogs and macaroni and cheese) and settled down to watch Robots while the kids took out Candy Land..not to play it, but rather to spread every card and piece, all over the room for no apparent reason. Once the movie was over, we convinced them to clean up the game (which they insisted on doing card by card, organized by color) and brought them back to their parents. From there, we decided to hurry off to somewhere, anywhere, with no kids, and plenty of booze. We landed at Dali, a cozy tapas restaurant in Somerville. A pitcher of Sangria, and smattering of small Spanish dishes later, life was back to normal. The food was good, the atmosphere was great, and the highlight of the menu, was a desert called Ubiquitous Flan. I love a good butchering of the English language. As tempting as it was, we skipped the flan and had the crepe, which was (unlike the flan presumably) contained within the confines of the dish.

Sunday - Ikea. I don’t know what I was thinking. I swore last week that I would avoid all malls and shopping centers like the plague, especially those shopping centers featuring chains who those that had just opened their only store within 250 miles of Boston, until well after Christmas. I was feeling brave, I was feeling stupid, I was feeling like I really needed to get a new desk. Ikea, as luck would have it, had one for $89.99 that I liked, AND that was 41 inches wide. The space I needed to fit it into was 42 inches wide. Coincidence? Probably. So off we go.

Approaching the exit off of Route 24, there is a flashing highway sign suggesting “Alternate Routes” and some of those orange state DPW created, orange signs saying things like “Ikea Detour”. There is also more of a police presence here than there is on a typical Friday night in Camden, New Jersey. All bad signs. However, as we approach the store, things are moving eerily well. We make it into the parking area, passing a police “mobile command center”, several traffic barriers, and far too many assorted emergency vehicles for a furniture store parking lot. I am embarrassed to be American right now.

First thing I notice, is that every single worker in the parking lot, and there are at least one hundred, are all African-American. I find this ironic at a Swedish furniture store.

Once inside, things continue to go smoothly and the highlight of the trip (for me) is this item. Come on, FAGELBO? That’s good stuff. After shopping around for a while, we leave with the desk, and roughly 87 other items, that combined, total $13 or so. As we leave the parking lot, I am hoping that Ikea isn’t Swedish for sucker and that these items are actually worth the….ah, whatever, they all average 14 cents a piece, who cares if they are all crap.

The main downside to Ikea, is that everything needs to be put together by the customer. Personally, I would rather pay for someone to assemble things for me, but given no choice, I settle in for a day of pain, courtesy of the Mikael Computer Workstation. It’s go time.

Wow, not bad. I have to hand it to Ikea, their assembly (at least for this desk) is better than the average Target experience, which typically involves one page, containing a single step, with 651 arrows pointing to various holes in which the 655 pieces of hardware need to go. No swearing, no extra pieces, no confusion, no injuries….just a desk.

Next, the Fagelbo. Come on, FAGELBO…that’s funny.